Hmmmm So this is what Birthdays are all about??

I don't like Birthdays, I don't celebrate them and I generally don't tell anyone when mine is.. Last year I had a step up from this when my adopted family cooked me a Birthday Meal and showered me in presents.. Lets just say I sat and cried, I thought it was the best....

Charlotte's (adopted sister) Birthday is 3 days before mine. she loveeees a good Birthday and celebrates in style. This year she was discussing Birthday plans roughly around 2 weeks before and complaining at me because I wasn't planning on doing anything. I hoped for family time like last year.. Charlotte planned a fun packed night out with everyone we know..

Charlottes birthday came and with it came an amazing turn of events, she decided that she might like to have a quiet birthday too.. And so she did..

On the other hand my Birthday celebrations began to take over the whole week! Monday was tattoo/bowling night.. Then Tues the amazing family night... Sam cooked an awesome dinner with all of my favourite things and for afters we had 3 different types of milkshake and a white chocolate chip pavlova! Then super awesome present time :0)

The cards were outstanding!

Sam and Tony got me a card each, possibly the closest 2 characters will ever come to my ideal man! If you no anyone who's a cross between Brains and Mr Ben with a moustache and monocle, please point them in my direction!

Rosie made me this awesome number!

Charlotte got me one that describes us to a T!

I'm currently rockin a pretty fab dressing gown and slipper combo and a set of saucepans (Have only been able to cook meals using one pan for the past month!) And check out these beauties! 

They are so beautiful it may hurt me to wear them...

Weds came and I had a sister day with Charlotte, consisting of snuggling up on the sofa with hot chocolate and snacks and watching this...

Lars and The Real Girl!

Don't you just love a movie about a mental person with a sex doll for a girlfriend :0)

Then the family congregated and purchased Cups of tea, choc drizzled popcorn, Hot Dawgs and Nachos and settled in the cinema to watch this....

 didn't fancy Captain America, I fell in love with this guy...

Yes you guessed it.. The guy with the Moustache :0) 

We promptly marched out of the cinema (Yes we actually did march) and headed to out favourite joint.. The Tiki Bar Where we ordered ourselves a coupla sharing platters (Mmmmmm Chicken Satay :0) And some awesome cocktails.. Some friends turned up and we had ourselves a mighty good time... Highlight was Rosie arriving with my home made card and present.. I wish I had a photo of the wrapped version (Newspaper and masking tape including completed cross word!) But here is the gift!

An awesome Cat candle :0)

So heres I few things I've learnt about the benefits of celebrating your Birthday..

1) On quoting "But it's my Birthday" You can pretty much get away with anything..

2) You can do what ever you want and people have to agree, because it's your Birthday..

3) You get free stuff (Cocktails woop)

4) You get tons of awesome pressies and lots and lots of hugs..

5) By announcing your Birthday on facebook, loads of people send you Birthday greetings. This makes you feel good.

6) Your friends bake you an awesome Birthday cake (Chocolate with peanut butter and jam, named the Miss Amelia)

7) When on a night out you hardly spend any pennies, because it's your Birthday!

All in all, Charlotte has started to win me over on the birthday front! It's strange how we changed our minds this year. I figure next year we should have a 2 week joint celebration! 

(P.S. I'm still celebrating this weekend when I head to London!)

Over and Out :0)

Awesome Secret, Suspense is killing me :0)

Well Folks what a super awesome weekend...

Friday went with the family for a dance or 3.. Here's me and Tony in action. Charlotte said she'd lost her dancing mojo and shortly thereafter got a mouthful of cider spat all over her by Tony.. Me and Sam done some strolling fight offs just for fun! Unfortunately I forgot my camera :0(..

Now Sat, So much fun went down.. I am fit to burst! It is all top secret, but I can tell you it involved the amazing Garry Maclennan and David Farquhar and me taking on an alter ego! It was amazing and can't wait to share.. But in the mean time heres a snippet of our antics before hand.. Involved Cider, Doritos and a bit of bush trimming..

Monday I had a bit more tattoo coloured in (It's the bottom half of my arm you can see above!) Then took a wee trip to the Tiki bar where we had ourselves a coupla cocktails including a Gin and Juice and Glasvegas Kiss! Nibbled on some chicken satay and then went and met Pieman from the tattoo studio.. We were meant to be going to see Captain America but decided to go bowling instead.. Been a super long time since I've been (Since my broken elbow milarky last year!) I didn't know that pieman was in ranks with the pro's. But I didn't mind loosing spectacularly as I am really good at..

They had an awesome photo booth....

And then we played arcade games. This place was so cool, the machines vomit tickets all over the show when you win. Then you toodle up to the desk and get a prize! Nikki and David have been collecting them up over a couple trips so they could get an super huge prize! They decided to keep them until next time (Pieman wanted to get a giant tiger shark teddy. David did not agree)

WHAT?? On a MONDAY??

So being the hip kids that we are. Monday night me and Charlotte decided to go and have us a coupla cocktails. This is obviously a lie. We are not hip and we have never been out on a Monday (That I can re-call) So this is how the night actually went!!!

We done our usual. £3 budget for a movie from Fopp. We choose 500 days of summer (I think thats what it's called). Basically Charlotte chose it and I liked the look of the fella on the front! After having a lil bit of MEXICAN MONDAY (love that night) we retired home to watch our movie. Safe to say, it was a good flick but not what we were expecting.. It left us in a sad mood.. We were expecting a happy love story.. What we actually got was a real life love story (We didn't want that we wanted the fake shit!)

Went like this

OPENING LINE:

Something about not being a love story but a story bout love.. followed by

" Any resemblance to people living or dead is purely coincidental"
" Especially You, Jenny, Bitch"


At this point we guessed it wasn't what we were expecting and by the end we were a little upset.. 


We weren't ready for bed, it was half 11. I said.. "Hmmmmm £3.50 cocktails" and lay on the floor, whilst Charlotte was texting someone.. Or so I thought.. Next thing I know she was reviewing the opening times for our local £3.50 cocktail joint! Next thing.. We were jumping around like school kids contemplating going out. We decided to call a cab and that the importance of making ourselves look beautiful was minimal as there would be no people out being a Monday an all..

We arrived at the joint and were thoroughly shocked at what we found! Half of Glasgow out on a MONDAY. And yes when I say out I mean dressed up in frocks and all sorts.. I feel so old that I know none of this...

We ordered our first cocktail...

 We sat sipping our espresso martinis feeling very chuffed with ourselves and looking around in amazement at the array of people that actually do go out on a Monday...

Then we met this guy....

He was out on a Monday rockin an awesome fro! We both had to have a feel. He didn't mind to much..

Last orders were called so we returned to the bar and ordered a Jacuzzi... It was tasty. Whilst sitting sipping our jacuzzi we spotted this...

It ended up in my bag and then later on in the above location (My kitchen side!).. We left the bar feeling thoroughly happy with ourselves and I guess kinda skipping down the street to the taxi rank.. On route we had this conversation..

Me: Look there's Sleazys where all the cool kids go..
Charlotte: Ohhhhhh Is it open?
Me: Urmmm excuse me Mr Bouncer Sir, What time do you close?
Mr Bouncer Sir: (Strange look) 3..
Me & Charlotte: Yayyyyy (Jumping up and down like School kids and running in the bar!)

Once in we ordered a vodka (On a Monday) and Sat in the corner in amazement, pondering buying a T-Shirt to commemorate the evening :0) Then we spotted this guy...

He was awesome and we actually chased him outside to get a picture (Although slightly panicked he agreed and was very friendly, but made a quick exit!) His names Jordan and he had perfect hair and glasses and a pretty beautiful moustache!

We were so happy and cheered up after all the excitement and decided to make cheese on toast with our stolen goods...

It was yummy :0) I've decided that those people that go out on a MONDAY have got it spot on.. Tis an awesome night.. I'm already planning my next one!!

THE THREE DAY GRUMP...

DAY ONE

Ok, so after my super awesome weekend. I woke up Monday morning with a heavy heart. I could not put my finger on what was wrong, but I was in a super bad mood and just couldn't shake it off :0(

Now for those that know me, you'll know that this is a very rare occurrence and that I am usually too cheery for my own good (and other people's) So fair to say this put me in a bigger mood still..

That night on the way home I went to Waitrose (I feel I spend far to much time in this place) and spent £12 YES £12, on cleaning products. For some reason if I ever do get a bad mood I like to buy cleaning products. I then proceeded to go to my friends Michelle's for Mexican Monday (A wondrous weekly event) I ate my fill in Taco's one of my favourite's, and read a chapter of Harry Potter to Hannah which is always fun. But no the grump remained.. I returned home, where the most cheery of company awaited in the form of Miss Lottie Lou. But no I just began to scrub the house from top to toe and  at half past 11 was cleaning the toilet. Charlotte seemed quite concerned and joined in with my spring clean by washing all the cutlery.

DAY TWO


I woke up to find the grump was still in my life.. I tottered to work where it was like a dark shadow following me round. I continued the theme of cleaning buy scrubbing the whole shop. Which is no easy task Mind The gap is an emporium full to the rafters! Home time came and I wasn't ready for it, so I stayed exploring the internet.. I had a stressful moment where I nearly purchased shoes, after putting a link calling for help on facebook. Many friend's came to my aid by telling me off (I have a major shoe thing and no money to aid it). I packed up the laptop and headed down Ashton Lane, to the Grosvenor Cinema, where I brought a bounty hot chocolate and a large bag of chocolate drizzled popcorn and settled in the big comfy armchairs to watch Harry Potter.... On returning home I read a good night story to Bryan my Budgie... It was a sad day.. Feel free to stop reading now.. I think I would!

Bryan digs a bed time story...

DAY THREE

Nope, thats right. Grumpy Hana is still here.. What the hell is wrong.. Day 3 I'm working in Auntie M's Cake Lounge yes thats right folks, a place full of cake, coffee and happiness. I decorated an awesome board..

Love me some chalk pens..

Kinda cheered me a little. Then it was off to this super awesome place that does half price cocktails Sun-Weds. Me and Nikki had been on a previous occasion and boy these cocktails are good... None of this crappy stuff.. Cocktails made with love.. So me and Charlotte got the underground into town (Me getting hot and sweaty from the fear, I hate the underground) Dandered round to collect Nikki (Who was in a super bad mood to, she had her hair done, asked for it to be dyed black and came out with it the same colour as when she went in :0( Consult photo!) Walked past this...

Made Me Chuckle

And ordered us some Cocktails.....

And 2 huge bowls of Curly frys....

After a bit of blethering and a few more cocktails. We were in a much brighter mood... I think me and my ridiculousness being the main cause of laughter...

That night on returning home I had a sister chat and hug and off loaded my heavy heart.. Sorry Charlotte... Climbed into my emperor size bed and had a snooze... 

DAY FOUR

How to rid your grump-

1. Spend £14 in waitrose on fancy smancy cleaning products..

2. Clean everything in sight...

3. Consider drinking ginger wine and buying shoes..

4. Watch Harry Potter

5. Spend quality time with your budgie

6. Work in a Cake Lounge and do a bit of art work with chalk pens..

7. Have a super girly night and only spend £12 (less than your cleaning products)

8. Chat to your awesome friends and get everything off your chest..

9. Have an awesome emperor size 4 poster bed...

10. Buy the shoes anyway..... ;0p

They Call Us The Delicates :0)

So my day off for those that know me (Workaholic that I am) I'm always looking for something to do. So when the fantabulous photographic genius that is Garry Maclennan enquired into my plans and asked me to take part in a shoot he was doing I thought I'd tag along... Now I'm not the most photogenic of persons (which I think Garry knows) but he did refer to me as a cool cat (which is really not true, I'm such a geek!) and then told me I'd just be in the background, so I thought I could manage it!

So I dandered down to Cushion and Cake where I got dressed up by Love Yesterday and then sat in the background trying to look pretty, whilst two professional girlies named Lauren and Nicole done all the hard work. I tried my best to be professional, but having my friend clare sat opposite me making me laugh every 2 minutes made this very difficult! Not sure how impressed Garry was, but he was doing some kinda Beavis and Butthead laugh which I assume means he didn't mind :0)

Trying to Concentrate on the flowers and not Clare!

We promptly ate cake which was yummy, I had coconut and lime.. Hyom Hyom Hyom... and then all took a stroll down to the most amazing launderette in the West... The Majestic.. We got some funny looks on route..

We decided to start a band called The Delicates, super awesome name. If only we could sing :0(..

I got a bit excited by the tumble dryers which were nearly as big as me, and really wanted to get in one. So I did....

Me and Clare snuck back in and she took this snap on her I Phone, I think Garry was a bit jealous of her skills!

On the way back we bumped into this fella...

He appears to be an alien with only 2 legs..

And then the cake shop was full, and getting changed was an issue. I managed to get back into my own clothes on the street, using Garry and Clare as a shield! All in all I had a super fun day and Garry made getting photo's taken so relaxing (I'm not usually keen coz of my stupid face!)

I love going to waitrose and hunting down the red clearance labels. Me and Charlotte had a bit of a blow out though and spent a fortune on hot chocolate making ingredients.. However we did come across these beauties....

10p Woop..

And lets just say had possibly the best hot chocolate ever, with a lil bit of Lavazza icecream on the side..

We've been buying DVD'S recently, that have to be within a £3 budget. The other day we succeeded in buying the best one ever, which was based around Hillbilly Zombies and had us laughing all night, so we decided to stick with the Zombie theme and get Zombie Women of Satan... We went from the top end of the scale to the bottom... If you ever see this DO NOT BUY IT.. Worst film ever.. (Did have a character called Pervo the clown which should of been funny... If only the actor wasn't so bad).. I fell asleep :0(

WHERE DO ALL THE HILLBILLIES GO?

Hmmmm Where do all the Hillbillies go I hear you ask.... Well Sat we all headed to Kilmarnock and a club called Rockin at O'Shannons :0) Boy I was in my element.. My adopted family picked me up and Tony shoved on some outstanding Hillbilly tracks for me to sing along to in the car...

Kilmarnock, Where all the Hillbillies were at...

Sailor Tony... Or should it be Hillbilly Tony?

On arrival I met my favourite guy from these parts Corn...

And then me and my sis ordered us a coupla Ciders in the Hillbilly tradition...

We tried all variety's available, our favourite being the sneaky bulmers berry variety which we got by accident...

The music got going and I've never felt so at home, (they don't call me Hillbilly Hana for nothing you know!) I was on the dance floor most of the night, bopping, strolling, jiving....

Good friend Paul taking me for a spin!

Me and Charlotte even done a bit of romantic 2 stepping (I think people maybe thought we will Hillbillies of the incest variety at that point :0/ )....

It all got a bit sweaty, luckily being a hillbilly and all, tony had the correct equipment to deal with the sticky situation...

Sweat Rag!

And see this lovely lady Sam, (aka best friend/adopted mam) well she took me for a spin too, but unfortunately spun me a bit to fast. She like's to jive in super awesome high heels and I kinda landed on her toe.... Boy she was brave, nearly finished the number but noticed blood everywhere.. Turns out I split her big toe nail in half. Was not a pretty sight (I also have a low gag reflex when it comes to feet, so didn't cope with this to well)..

A smashing band called Root'n Toot'n aka Colin n Amanda, played some awesome tunes which I had great enjoyment singing along to. They also have a spare instrument called the Hillbilly stick which is a massive stick covered in bottle caps with a chicken on the top and a boot on the bottom... Fair to say being Hillbilly Hana I joined the band for a track and stomped the Hillbilly stick to my hearts content.. I'm pretty sure they wanted me as a permanent fixture...

Me with Root'n Toot'n

It was a super night with all my favourite music.. Hot Dawg I really am a Hillbilly at Heart...

I leave you with one of my fav Tunes from the fab Little Jimmy Dickens... 

Moustache Day!

OK so I decided to do this blog thing. I haven't got a clue what I'm doing or even where to start, but I thought it would be fun to share some of the things I get upto on a day to day basis because lets face it people do love to laugh at me which I think is a good thing! Also my friend Julia (who has an awesome blog I might add!) http://monkeysandink.blogspot.com/ described it as having an eternal online diary, which pretty much sold it to me :0)

So I thought I'd start on my moustache day. A while back when I moved into my flat I got a pack of moustaches as a house warming gift (I dig Moustaches). They've been sat in a drawer for sometime waiting on an occasion for me to wear them.. That occasion did not come..

Me and Hamish.

So I just decided to give one an outing. I slapped it on a skipped off to work, now the scary thing is this tache looked awesome and I'm sure that the persons I passed on route to the shop didn't even bat an eye!

Initially I came a cropper a couple of issues, firstly the amount of heat that a tache causes and secondly I hadn't acquired the skill of blowing your nose without getting a snotty tache. I'm still trying to work this out..

After a while, with the shop being a bit quiet I then decided maybe I should match my beautiful facial hair with some suitably beautiful new clothes. So I wandered over to see Al at Not Now Cato and spoke to him regarding what type of attire would best suit me and make my tache stand out.. Al proceeded to re-style me accordingly. And this is the result!

Moustache Pose!

Classic Catalog Pose!

So I'm sure you'll agree I look pretty awesome as a man.. I named myself Harry (Natural progression from Hana) but on consulting the staff of De Courcy's Arcade I was informed that I look latin (cha ching) and Harry was not the name for me... Thereafter my good friend/sister renamed me Horacio....

Alan Styled me..

Then I kicked his arse!

So Horacio was an awesome alter ego, turns out he gets all the arcade chics......

And he sure has an attitude... It was a sad time when Horacio left the building... High light of the day.. Miss Lottie Lou's customer calling me transgender.. (Amazing)

So another skill to add to my list... I look great as a guy.... 

A fun day to start bloggin I think..